Old Challoners v PB (Milton Keynes)
Berks and Bucks Cup Final
Team: Williams, Weisz, Cawley, Raaagers, Walsh, Croucher, Lowes, Gardner, Fallon, Browne(Fuzz), Baker, Subs: Allen, Beauchamps, Powell
Score: 2:0 Fuzz (29), Croucher (72)
Location - Aylesbury Vale FC
Attendance: 271 (a 2464% increase on the previous best)
As the glorious sun beamed down on the countryside, the people of Berkshire and Buckinghamshire knew they were in for something very special. Indeed today was the 128th final of the B&B Junior Cup.
Over 4000 teams had entered the competition this year, and after 19 gruelling rounds (some games more gruelling than others) the cream had risen to the top of the custard tart. Literally. For Old Challoners this was surely the biggest match in the club's 80 year history.
The Challoners players arrived shirted and booted (except Lowesy who was wearing a nice t-shirt) and their commander in chief, Robert "Stormin' Norman" Weisz readied his troops for battle with a heady mix of tactics plus passion, minus complacency.
As the game got under way, PB looked liked they knew their way around a football pitch and dominated the early exchanges without creating any goalscoring chances. This was no surprise to the well briefed Challoners team who knew that PB hadn't lost a game in three years and had scored 300 goals in their last 5 matches. One striker alone had notched 41 times in his last game.
Not today though, sunshine. The massive striker in question spent the whole match with one leg in the right-hand pocket of Paul Rogers and the other leg in the left-hand pocket of RC, whilst constantly rotating his elbows around like some kind of crazy human helicopter (if you can imagine such a thing).
To the delight of the capacity crowd, Challoners began to play themselves into the game with some liquid football. Outnumbered in centre midfield, Loooowsey and Will started to get a grip, finding space and quickly closing down the opposition. Jimbo was the red pair of lucky pants in the PB whitewash; a constant menace.
In the 29th minute, some good work down the right led to a Challoners free kick and Fallon delivered a regulation lazer-guided cross. PB were unable to clear the danger and the ball spilt to Fuzz who rifled a shot against the post. Two PB defenders looked favourite to reach the rebounding ball first. "No way man" said Fuzz and quick as a shark he spanked the ball into the bottom corner of the onion sack. 1 - 0 Challoners. The crowd went wild and the noise from the "Raithatha Stand" was deafening.
The second half was a Mexican stand-off. PB had most of the possession but not enough Mexicans to unlock the water-tight Challoners defence. Normally left midfield is merely an address at which Fallon can be contacted in case of an emergency. Today, however, he was covering every blade of grass and sand, regularly being spotted in his own half.
Throughout the match Challoners were constantly receiving sound tactical advice from the technical area. Head coach Mr Weisz and assistant manager/midfielder/international playboy James "Moin" Sharman were moving the Challoners players around like chess grand masters. On one occasion both Mr Weisz and Moin were standing up at the same time. Fortunately the 4th official put an end to this unsavoury incident and Moin sat down.
Challoners were looking increasingly dangerous on the counter attack. In the 72nd minute, Fallon and Fuzz tormented the PB defence down the left to create a great chance. After rounding the keeper and in front of an open goal, Fallon's leg suddenly went lame. Disaster. However, the "wizard of dribble" kept a cool head and he had a visual on David Croucher. The ball fell to the right foot of Croucher like a pig to the slaughter and he calmly put the bun in the oven. 2 - 0 Challoners.
PB then threw the kitchen sink and the draining board at Challoners but to no avail. Everyone in a red and black shirt was immense on the day. Even on the rare occasions that the defence was compromised, Jamie "the Marathon Cat" Williams in the Challoners goal stepped up to the plate. In one split second he reduced the earth's gravitational force from 9.8 to 1.3 N/Kg, flying across his goal to pluck the ball from the top corner, giving the assembled paparazzi what they had been waiting for.
At the final whistle the Challoners supporters were hyped up to a frenzy. It was a magical moment and it felt as if Dr Robert Challoner himself was smiling down on us and giving a thumbs up salute. Captain marvel Rob Weisz held aloft the mighty trophy and among all the applause and cheers, the faint sound of "Weisz out" could be heard from an anonymous centre back (not Rogers).
Challoners celebrated their triumph in style. Exact details are unknown at the time of going to press but champagne and whisky were definitely involved. Fuzz's good health was toasted on numerous occasions and Matt Allen was given the freedom of Winkers after tearing up the dancefloor. Not literally.
Man of the Match - RC (massive)
Fallon M.O.M - Ben Fallon
Disclaimer: some events may not have happened.
