Old Challoners v Phoenix Old Boys
Team: Williams, Lancaster, Beill, Foster, Weidner, Daw, Bevins P, Croker, Whickenden, Maker, Thomas Subs: Lord, Cawley
Score: 3:1
Scorers: Daw (3),
Nick Lancaster report
James Foster report
Bruce Lee, Pat Morita, Ralph Maccio, Ken Watanabe, Jet Li, Hong Kong Phooey……your boys took one hell of a beating. The scoreline doesn't tell an accurate tale of Challoners domination in this game, if it hadn't been for some good goalkeeping and weak finishing the score line could easily have read 6 or 7-1. Phoenix rarely threatened the Challoners goal until complacency set in amongst our back four in the last 15 minutes of the match so to concede a sloppy late goal was disappointing.
The first half started slowly with little incident, Lancaster's quick feet 25 yards from goal carving out a shooting opportunity for himself that was cruelly deflected over the bar for a corner, and repetitive requests to the referee to pump the match ball up continuously fell on deaf ears until finally the ball was changed altogether, unsurprisingly the quality of play improved.
Inevitably it was 'Hotshot' Daw who broke the deadlock. Bevins won the ball in midfield with an expertly timed challenge that fed 'Moses' Daw who then parted the red sea of Phoenix defenders to stroll through and slot calmly past the advancing keeper. By this time we had started to play some good football with Daw marauding down the right roasting his full back time and again and Whickenden and Weidner on the other side choosing to pass their way around their opposite numbers. It was from such a move down the left that Challoners doubled their lead, Weidner providing a hanging cross into the box that tempted the keeper into no mans land and of course the ever alert 'Poacher' Daw was there to nod in his and our second, the half time whistle followed soon after Challoners going in 2-0 up.
The second half started as the first ended with Challoners on top and on the attack. Five minutes into the start of the second half and the move of the match brought the third goal. Maker and Thomas exchanged passes Thomas then beating two men only to see his shot saved by the keeper but the rebound falling to 'Johnny on the spot' Daw to slide home for his hat-trick and 7th in his last 3 games. We now laid siege to the Phoenix goal and created various glorious chances most of them falling to the ever willing Thomas unfortunately he just couldn't hit them anywhere else other than straight at the keeper!
Having missed a host of chances Challoners were nearly punished when collectively the back 4 went to sleep and allowed the Phoenix attack too much time and space. The referee seemed to decide that he was no longer going to worry about offsides which Phoenix exploited but they still couldn't score until Foster dallied whilst facing his own goal and gave away a free kick which was tapped in due to non-existent marking as Lancaster and Beill talked about who was going to mark him. Understandably Phoenix were raised by this but the tide turned again as Chuck Norris launched himself two footed, studs showing and high at Weidner, who was fortunate to come away uninjured. The long delay as players calmed down and Chuck received his caution served to negate all the momentum Phoenix had built up and Challoners easily finished the match on top.
Man of the Match - Phil 'Hotshot Moses Poacher Johnny on the spot Daw
THE LANCASTER VERDICT:
Missing last season's top scorer to Noo Yoik, last weeks MOM to the first team and regular centre half to the shops in protest to turning up at last weeks postponed game this was a potential banana skin away from home. The squad again proved its strength in depth as we won at a canter but against another side the back 4 could easily have been exposed.
Report by Nick Lancaster
Fresh from a week off the 2s resumed league action away to Phoenix Old Boys. 3 points would take the 2s to within 2 points of their miserly away haul last season after only 4 away games and confirm they are no longer a soft touch away from the fortress.
A bizarre start to the game saw OCs temporarily down to 10 men almost immediately. Team drill-master, Sergeant Major Weidner, realised he had managed to start the game wearing a pair of clown shoes, and midway through Phoenix first attack bolted across the pitch without even attempting to tackle an opposition player heading towards the left back area with the ball, shouting at the manager that he would need to find a replacement left back for a few minutes while he changed in to more appropriate footwear. Fortunately Rob Wickenden was switched on enough to slot in at the back. Poor old Jamie Maker, having been handed a rare start in his natural position up front found himself back at left mid for 10 minutes while Stu desperately fumbled with a pair of football boots, proving truth in the old adage of less haste more speed. Back to a full compliment of players, Challoners soon found themselves in front. Swooping in from the right, goal-machine Phil Daw picked up the ball in the middle of the pitch and set off towards goal. Jamie Maker made a superb run to his right, drawing a defender to him and opening up a clear path to goal for Daw, who duly accepted and finished calmly. Daw then doubled the lead minutes later. Footwear specialist Weidner picked him out on the edge of the Phoenix area, and a clever Mido style header left the goalkeeper stranded in no man's land. 2 - 0 at half time although it should really have been game over with Challoners guilty of wasting several opportunities.
It was a sloppy start to the second half for the 2s as they struggled to keep hold of the ball. However, a moment of brilliance brought the third goal. Jamie Maker and Paul Thomas combined with a sublime one-two to open the Phoenix defence, and when the keeper saved from Thomas, no one was surprised to see Phil "Johnny-on-the-spot" Daw there to roll in his third. The floodgates really should have opened as the 2s found themselves with chance after chance. Paul Thomas got himself in to several goal scoring chances, but the usually prolific front man was picking out the goalkeeper with unnerving accuracy. Perhaps playing up front on Sunday with dogshit 1s midfielder Dave Croucher is having a negative effect on Thomas as there was something Croucheresque about his finishing today.
By not killing the game off, Challoners gave hope to Phoenix. Having proven the name quite apt by rising like the proverbial in this fixture last year from 3 - 0 down, Phoenix began to go on the attack and were having some joy, with the Challoner's back four in uncharacteristic disarray. Foster was fast becoming their best player, having elected to change his boots at half time for a pair of discarded clown shoes he'd found while giving his half time team talk. In one particular moment of magic the centre-half latched on to a Lancaster back header and dribbled the ball deep in to his own half. Amid cries to clear the ball off the pitch, and under pressure from an opponent, Foster calmly decided this was an opportune moment to book his place on next week's Soccer AM showboat. A flurry of step-overs and fancy footwork left everyone in a trance - except the Phoenix player closest to him who was inexplicably able to nick the ball away and set off towards goal, only to be halted by a Foster tackle straight out of the WWF. The resulting free kick was scuffed across the face of the Challoner's goal and tapped in at the far post.
Things could have got much worse moments later. Weidner's new warm up routine involves a netball style exercise which paid dividends as the latter skilfully palmed down a Phoenix cross deep inside the area to the unmarked Foster who had time to catch the ball, place it at his own feet, and kick it off for a corner. Obviously impressed, the ref awarded a corner only.
A well-tempered match threatened to boil over with only minutes remaining as an uncharacteristic horror tackle by an otherwise placid Phoenix midfielder on Stu Weidner brought angry reactions from several 2s players. Fortunately there was a large police presence at the game (all in Phoenix shirts) and they were able to restore order with only a handful of arrests. As the final whistle went the 2s retired to the bar to enjoy cold chips, uncooked sausages and reflect on a workmanlike performance and 3 more away points. Verdict of the squad was shooting practice with Phil Daw for Paul Thomas, and just shooting for Foster.
Man of the match: Phil Daw. A hatrick would normally be enough to secure the accolade but Phil left nothing to chance by impressing the manager with his performance in the bar after the game, providing a jug of lager beer to honour the hatrick tradition. 7 goals from midfield in 4 games for Phil now.
Report by James Foster
